When is the time to listen to complaints and when is the time to shake it off? For example, you lead the worship service and suddenly Mrs. Smith comes up and begins to let you know you didn’t use enough hymns in the service.
Generally I guess I try to listen to the content of what someone shares and separate it from the complaining attitude. Sometimes I might ask her what are her favorite hymns and why? Then try to find some common ground or even agree that her hymn is a favorite with you too. Perhaps you could use her favorite in a future service. But what if her favorite doesn’t fit your service style and never will? Then I would simply file the complaint and continue to lead the songs that fit your purpose.
Let’s face it. We don’t like to be criticized. Most people probably aren’t trying to hurt us. Most people aren’t consciously trying to ruin our day. They may be frustrated with other issues. This is just one they can put into words. Recently I addressed this issue with a person. My perspective with her was that there is an ocean of music out there. We have to choose a sampling for our services. There is no way every person’s songs can be chosen. I shared with her that some songs may bless one person and not another. In a church, it’s not about me but about we. If different songs capture the heart of different people then we use them (as long as they fit the theology of the church).
When I first started in ministry it was hard not to be effected by the complaints of people. But I have learned to shake them off more quickly while still listening to the message. Some messages help us. But there are some people who probably might fit another church better. I would never compromise to keep someone or please someone, but on the other hand, I would never hesitate to use a song that is someone’s favorite when I can. I have sometimes suggested a person submit their favorites so we can take them into consideration. Complaints can hinder or help depending on how we use them.
