From the days of Adam and Eve, man was given free will. God always tells us His will in His Word. But that will is never forced upon us. We are each given the right to choose. And when we pray for others, we can never force our will upon another through prayer.
God explained this in the Bible:
“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!” Deuteronomy 30:19
It’s interesting that God said both heaven and earth witness the choices we make. The heavenly realm doesn’t force God’s will upon us. God merely presents His will and we choose. That is the way of God. He never forces or manipulates. So our prayers should reflect that same loving Spirit.
This really is the answer for why many childhood prayers may not be answered. The young child prays that his parents don’t get a divorce. While God hears the angst of the child, He won’t violate His own law of free will. The parents have a choice in which God won’t interfere. The parents can choose to stay in the marriage or separate. It is probably God’s will for the sake of the child and family that the couple stay married. But the child’s prayer won’t keep them together. I’m not saying appropriate prayer won’t help them. Appropriate prayer would be to pray the couple seek counsel or see the big picture of the importance of working out their differences for the sake of the child. Appropriate prayer would be made for each marriage partner to experience the love of God and understand that love is available to them and through them.
Here’s another situation that immature praying cannot change. The way in which we pray for an elderly grandparent who is dying. The child may pray for their healing. God hears the prayer, but the will of the grandparent overrules the prayer of the grandchild. Perhaps that precious saint has finished their course and is ready to move to heaven. That person doesn’t choose to stay any longer. Their will could be to die and not live on this earth any longer. Their will is to be delivered from pain and reunite their loved ones in heaven. A child (or our own desires) can’t see this perspective of the loved one. Instead, we will miss that person and want them to stay because we may feel we need them. Once again, appropriate prayer asks God for His comfort and His care and at times His healing and restoring them. But if we would truly ask the person we are praying for “what do you want?” and pray accordingly, we might see more prayers answered.
Before we pray for others, we need to take some time to ask ourselves “am I praying my will or God’s will or is this prayer request really what the other person wants? The human will is not violated by God or by our prayers.
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